My Motherhood Journey & Depletion
Okay, so let me preface this by saying - me sharing my experience is in no way saying that what I have chosen to do is correct and what you are doing isn’t, and vice versa. If you do feel triggered by some of the things that I share, this may be something that you want to look at a little closer, even seek out support to work through this; but please don’t comment trying to convince me that what I am doing is wrong because of your experiences. I feel very anchored in my Mothering, and do what feels right for us, if you have chosen a different path – that’s okay, because I hope you feel as at ease with your choices, as I do mine.
In the interest of (your) time I going to focus primarily on sleep & breastfeeding.
Before we welcomed our son earth side my husband & I had extensively discussed the kind of parents we wanted to be, and we naturally resonated with attachment and gentle parenting style (this is not to say we follow rules or guidelines, these philosophies simply resonated with us). I also knew that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed long term, and for my family that looks like: no dummy, feeding on demand (I don’t really like that term, basically he gets milk when and wherever he wants, not by time or routine), no self-soothing, no complimentary bottle feeds, (formula or expressed milk), I am his comfort - this style of parenting can be exhausting and certainly depleting of nutrients and vitality if not managed correctly.
So enough about me, let’s talk about the maternal demands of pregnancy and postpartum/lactation.
Growing and carrying a human is tiring work, this is one of the reasons that preconception care is vital for anyone thinking about conceiving in the next 3 months, adequate stores of particular nutrients will ensure better outcomes for Mum and Bub.
Breastfeeding
There are so many benefits to breastfeeding, to both mother and child, I am going to only highlight a few:
- Human breast milk adapts to the need of the baby, the composition of milk changes in response to the need of the baby. Early breast milk known as colostrum, it’s primary purpose to provide antibodies, good bacteria and other protective cells before changing to transitional milk which is higher in fat to help your baby grow, then the mature milk delivers more stable contents (but of course still changing from feed-to-feed to adapt to your child’s needs (Laouar, 2020).
- Undeniable immunological benefits, to highlight a few (I could seriously write a whole blog on the immunological affects alone):
o Breastmilk contains large quantities of IgA antibodies (first line immune defence) and colostrum is rich in antibodies and includes “memory lymphocytes” against illnesses that the mother has encountered across her lifetime (Abuidhail et al, 2018).
o When a baby is latched to the breast, the saliva from the baby transfers to the Mother where pathogens are detected through saliva and specific antibodies are created and delivered in subsequent breast feeds (Al-Sheri et al, 2015).
o Breastfed babies have lower instances and shorter duration of gastro infections, respiratory disease and otis media (ear infection).
o Influence the immune system development and influence the pathogenesis of autoimmune disorders later in life (Vieira et al, 2017).
- Positively impacts the gut microflora, which is of course implicated in many conditions and long-term wellbeing:
o There are factors in breastmilk that enhances the establishment and growth of healthy gut flora (van den Elsen, 2019).
o Exclusively breast fed (EBF) babies when compared to non-EBF have greater microbial diversity and microbiota age (Ho et al, 2018).
o Human milk oligosaccharides that are only present in human breast milk are believed to lower the risk of obesity and diabetes in later life, as well as acting as a prebiotic for beneficial microbiota (Maessen et al, 2020)
Beyond the physiological benefits breastfeeding it is an act of complete nurture that involves holding, eye gazing and bodily contact that stimulates the release of loving hormones, these hormones also reward and reinforce breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding mothers are more likely to report positive mood states, less anxiety and increased calm as compared to formula feeding mothers (this of course is not always the case), thanks to that beautiful, loving hormone oxytocin (Hahn-Holbrook et al, 2012).
Personally, it slows me in my day, reminds me to pause and be still, be completely in the moment, momentarily being one with my son again.
We have had what I would consider an easy breastfeeding journey, my son latched straight away with no difficulties. I also sought out the support of a paediatric osteopath and Independent Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) - Reena Murray from Completely Aligned, to make sure all was well with our son.
The nutrient demands of the mother increase while breastfeeding, and it is important for the health of mother and child that women continue to nourish themselves with a nutrient dense diet, and are prioritising drinking plenty of water.
Motherhood & Nutrient Depletion
Pregnancy, labour, recovery, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation are a recipe for depletion.
You should work with your health care provider for your individual needs but generally speaking, nutrients that are vital for a healthy pregnancy and lactation are (Marangoni et al, 2016):
- B vitamins
- Calcium
- Choline
- DHA & Omega 3
- Iodine
- Iron
- Folate
- Glycine
- Magnesium
- Vitamin A, C, D & K
- Zinc
Rather than focusing solely on the individual nutrients postpartum, ensure you are a) eating enough and b) enjoying a wide variety of nourishing foods. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was cooking for 4 and just freezing two meals, so that in those early newborn days we didn’t have to worry about cooking, we just defrosted and stayed in our little love bubble.
The other strategy that you may want to utilise is help…asking and accepting. We all have that family member or friend who says, “if you need anything just let me know”, take them up on it and say – “I’d love if you could cook a really nourishing, warm meal for us”, “would you mind doing a load of washing”, “while you’re here could you unpack the dishwasher?”. Talk to your partner during pregnancy about how your dynamic will work postpartum, my husband said many times “I don’t care if the kitchen isn’t cleaned, or the washing isn’t done, don’t worry about that, I’ll sort it out when I get home” *shout out to Sam, you the real MVP*
Safe bed sharing: Please refer to the Safe 7 by the La Leche League in the resources section before trying safe bed sharing.
During pregnancy we spoke about this with our private midwife and made sure that we were informed and educated about how this was going to look for our family. I had completely surrendered to the fact that I was going to be having broken sleep for a while, but understood the benefits of breastfeeding overnight, such as:
- Delivery of melatonin, the sleep hormone. Babies don’t produce melatonin until around 3 months, so they literally don’t have this in-built circadian rhythm that adults have, so the delivery of small amount of melatonin in breast milk is beneficial for babies to get into that ‘night time sleep’.
- Prolactin (hormone responsible for breast milk production) highest production is at night, so feeding overnight helps milk production (World Health Organisation, 2009)
- Mothers who breastfed overnight got 45minutes more sleep on average than those who bottle fed (Doan et al, 2014).
- Mutual regulation, the parent’s presence and regular breathing helps to regulate the babies breathing, as well as body temperature regulation (McKenna & Gettler, 2015)
- Dr James McKenna is well respected in the area of bed sharing and dubbed the term ‘breastsleeping’, in his studies in sleep laboratories, videos showed that 'bed sharing mothers even when in deep sleep are obviously aware of their babies’ position and move when necessary to avoid overlaying. At no time in the studies did bed sharing mothers impede on the breathing of their babies, who had higher average oxygen levels than solitary sleepers (McKenna & McDade, 2006).
- For our family, I just get better sleep. I stay half asleep, as does my son, my husband said one morning when he was leaving for work, he saw our son stir and I didn’t wake, I instinctively pulled him to my breast and he went back to sleep.
You know how people say “sleep when the baby sleeps”, DO IT! I am Queen of Naps and in those early days, I would settle in for a nap when my son slept, we also went to bed with him at night, so some nights 6:45pm, 7:15pm, 8pm so we got those couple of hours in at the start of the night.
Sleep deprivation has a major physical and psychological impact on new parents, it is particularly important that you seek support if you feel that you aren’t managing.
Herbs for healing:
The whole reason this blog exists is because I posted on my Instagram about a herbal mix that I had made myself. I am only going to briefly touch on two herbs that are in my mix. Herbs are so individual, so you should always work with a herbalist or naturopath before taking any liquid herbs.
Tulsi/holy basil or Ocimum tenuiflorum: commonly referred to as ‘yoga in a bottle’.
In Ayurvedic medicine Tulsi has an incomparable status, it is known as a potent adaptogen (enhancement of the body’s capacity to maintain balance in the midst of a variety of stressors), and more scientific evidence is coming out supporting this ancient wisdom. In animal studies Tulsi has been shown to reduce the effects of acute and chronic induced stress, infection protection, reduce metabolic stress, anti-anxiety and anti-depressant activity.
In a human study: a 6 week, randomised, double-blind placebo study showed that tulsi significantly improved general stress scores sexual and sleep problems and symptoms such as forgetfulness and exhaustion (can I get an AMEN!) (Cohen, 2014).
As mentioned Tulsi is like yoga in a bottle having the same calming, relaxing effect that yoga has, I have this in my herbal mix, but also drink tulsi tea multiple times a day! I drink the Organic India brand available at health food stores, and I love to cooking with it.
Withania/ashwaganda or Withania somnifera: commonly referred to as ‘a hug in a bottle’.
Adaptogens have the ability to calm and energise, but Withania is a non-stimulating adaptogen, it has a direct, positive impact on the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (the conversation between the brain and the adrenals) (Wal et al, 2019).
In one six week randomised control trial Canada post employees with moderate or severe anxiety of longer than 6 weeks were randomised to receive either naturopathic care: including dietary counselling, relaxation techniques and a withania extract, while the other group received psychotherapy: matched relaxation techniques and placebo. By the end of the 12 weeks final Beck anxiety scores had decreased by 56.5% in the withania group, compared with 30.5% in the psychotherapy group (Cooley et al, 2009).
As mentioned I am using the liquid extract, but you can have this is part of a tea, or many people use a powder in smoothies etc.
Final thoughts:
I have continued to take my prenatal (plus more) supplements to fill any gaps that I may be missing, I take low dose of my herbal mix to nourish and support my nervous system to help me cope with the demands of Motherhood. I also prioritise what we call “Mummy Minutes” it’s time I take for myself doing things that bring me joy - going to the gym, an osteopathic appointment, going for a run, writing this blog, and it is important to my identity as a women that I nurture that side of me and don’t martyr myself in the name of Motherhood.
Remember Mama, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! There is so much I wanted to say, but will save that for another blog. Becoming a Mother is the most transformative, beautiful thing that has ever happened to me, I feel at ease and well supported. I hope you feel this comfort too, and if you are in need of some support - please reach out.
Warmest,
Katie x.
Resources:
https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/
https://completelyaligned.com.au/
*All of the beautiful images in this blog were captured by MJF Photography. We have chosen to respect our son’s privacy and not share images of his sweet little face or his name.
**Nothing mentioned in this post is medical advice, you should always consult your healthcare practitioner before implementing any of the strategies discussed
References:
Abuidhail, J., Al-Shudiefat, A. A.-R., & Darwish, M. (2018). Alterations of immunoglobulin G and immunoglobulin M levels in the breast milk of mothers with exclusive breastfeeding compared to mothers with non-exclusive breastfeeding during 6 months postpartum: The Jordanian cohort study. American Journal of Human Biology. https://doi.org/10.1002/ajhb.23197
Al-Shehri, S. S., Knox, C. L., Liley, H. G., Cowley, D. M., Wright, J. R., Henman, M. G., Hewavitharana, A. K., Charles, B. G., Shaw, P. N., Sweeney, E. L., & Duley, J. A. (2015). Breastmilk-Saliva Interactions Boost Innate Immunity by Regulating the Oral Microbiome in Early Infancy. PloS one, 10(9), e0135047. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0135047
Cohen MM. Tulsi - Ocimum sanctum: A herb for all reasons. J Ayurveda Integr Med. 2014;5(4):251-259. doi:10.4103/0975-9476.146554
Cooley, K, Szczurko, O, Perri, D, Mills, E, Bernhardt, B, Zhou, Q, Seely, D. (2009). Naturopathic Case for Anxiety: A Randomized Controlled Trial. PLOS one, 4(8). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0006628
Doan, T., Gay, C. L., Kennedy, H. P., Newman, J., & Lee, K. A. (2014). Nighttime breastfeeding behavior is associated with more nocturnal sleep among first-time mothers at one month postpartum. Journal of clinical sleep medicine : JCSM : official publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 10(3), 313–319. https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.3538
Ho, N.T., Li, F., Lee-Sarwar, K.A. et al. Meta-analysis of effects of exclusive breastfeeding on infant gut microbiota across populations. Nat Commun 9, 4169 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-018-06473-x
Infant and Young Child Feeding: Model Chapter for Textbooks for Medical Students and Allied Health Professionals. Geneva: World Health Organization; 2009. SESSION 2, The physiological basis of breastfeeding. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK148970/
Laouar, A. (2020). Maternal Leukocytes and Infant Immune Programming during Breastfeeding. Trends in Immunology, 41 (3), 225-239. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.it.2020.01.005
Marangoni, F., Cetin, I., Verduci, E., Canzone, G., Giovannini, M., Scollo, P., Corsello, G., & Poli, A. (2016). Maternal Diet and Nutrient Requirements in Pregnancy and Breastfeeding. An Italian Consensus Document. Nutrients, 8(10), 629. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu8100629
Maessen, José G B Derraik, Aristea Binia, Wayne S Cutfield, Perspective: Human Milk Oligosaccharides: Fuel for Childhood Obesity Prevention?, Advances in Nutrition, Volume 11, Issue 1, January 2020, Pages 35–40, https://doi.org/10.1093/advances/nmz093
McKenna, J & Gettler, L. (2015).There is no such thing as infant sleep. There is no such thing as breastfeeding, there is only breastsleeping. ACTA Paediatrica.
van den Elsen, L., Garssen, J., Burcelin, R., & Verhasselt, V. (2019). Shaping the Gut Microbiota by Breastfeeding: The Gateway to Allergy Prevention?. Frontiers in pediatrics, 7, 47. https://doi.org/10.3389/fped.2019.00047
Wal, A, Wal, P, Rai, A, Tiwari, R, Prajapati, S. Chapter 34 – Adaptogens with a Special Emphasis on Withania somnifera and Rhodiola rosea. Nutrition and Enhanced Sports Performance (2nd ed). 2019.
Vieira Borba V, Sharif K, Shoenfeld Y. Breastfeeding and autoimmunity: Programing health from the beginning. Am J Reprod Immunol. 2018;79(1):10.1111/aji.12778. doi:10.1111/aji.12778